-Had you said ‘I have to go, love. I have to go to places, where you cannot go with me, and I have to go alone.’ I would have said ‘I am strong! I am small, but I am a giant. Look at me! I stand tall, I can cut off monsters’ heads and deal with bullies!’
-Let me finish! Had you said ‘I have to go, love. I have places to see, and things to do, and people to visit, and I have to do it all on my own’. I would have said ‘I will stand by you. The world is so small. It just seems like a giant. And my thighs are so strong. I can walk valleys, climb mountains, wander the streets of cities and turn houses into homes on the way’.
-Just let me finish! Had you said ‘I have to go, love. I just have to go. And I have to go alone’. I would have said ‘It’s okay. Love is just the beginning. It builds, creates, it opens the doors and gates and spreads the roads wide open. Against the ugly things people say to each other in the name of love, that I could never say to you. Against the wounds that people bring onto each other in the name of love. Against lies, against bad advice, against it all, love stands still’. I would have embraced with no judgement all those who come and go in between, and I would have said ‘It is okay, love. Take good care of yourself, be beautiful and be brave.’
-But I said just that.
One hundred weeks is two years. One hundred weeks ago I was looking at the city from across the river. One hundred weeks later the city is looking at me, surprised, that I am still what I am. I am the sister. I am the lover. I am the mother.
I am the wise.
I am the dumb.
It’s all in me.
I am, love.
With a pen down my throat,
and a heart in my hand, I win.