Road trip. The most natural and the happiest state for a Human Soul. Being in a state ; where nothing can touch us, my love. Flowing, sliding, mentally or spiritually kite-surfing. Say on the West Coast. Say on thePacific Coast Highway (slashTHE ONE). The cliffs and vegetation and the winding roads are breathtaking. And the Pacific. You had not expected it to be that beautiful. And so infinite. Staring at it for days lets you stretch your eyes and your thoughts and realize that where you are and how you feel today is not ultimate and final because really there is an infinite number of possibilities and perspectives. You think ‘freedom’. You think ‘we’re so fragile’. You think all these things that make love, laugh, tears, poetry, prayers and the best songs by The National come to life. You think all the things that make you think you might actually write the entire volume of lyrics for their next album.
What’s great about road trips is that they make you feel 100% present. Everything is new and exciting all the time so you naturally appreciate every single moment. There’s not much room for plans, expectations or old habits; you’re just here and now and that is good; you reconnect with the real you and you suddenly realize that happiness is so easy. And then you get back to the real life…
It is in a way similar between girls and boys , (slash; men and women). Say on a random night out with friends you meet someone. There is a spark. You have a great time. Great conversation. The energy flow is right because it’s new and unplanned so you dont have time to make any assumptions or tap into any of your worn out habits. You are present; busy being here and now; there’s no room for reasoning; you’re going with the flow. Letting yourself be. You feel like going to a karaoke at 4 am not even remembering that it is not possible at that time… not even in NY… You feel The Chemistry. Say you want to make love to that someone. You do it. It works just right. There’s no room for “Ooh; maybe it’s wrong”. And then you get back to the real life…
Maybe She’s a psycho bitch? Maybe he’s an inconsiderate idiot? She comes back home tired after work ; had a bad day and needs his attention. He’s busy doing something else. Something Else that’s very important to him this very moment. She’s miserable because he’s ignoring her when she needs him and starts crying. He snaps at her because he doesn’t understand why on earth she’s crying and what on earth he did to her again. Score. She goes from being “smart and beautiful” to being a psycho bitch. He goes from being “a positive force” to being an inconsiderate idiot. One might assume it is one of the possible scenarios.
Or maybe they will not speak again. until he gets back to her in years from now to cheat on his wife that he will have acquired by that time. wife that is Jewish enough, Catholic enough, Buddhist enough, rich enough, poor enough, American enough, Chinese enough, Serbian enough, skinny enough or fat enough for him, but yet he might need a break every now and then… But then… No. Whatever happens afterwards depends on whoever has the strength to carry it over on their shoulders.
Heart; heart. Thank god you are not made of crystal. You resonate with crystal-like sounds when things bigger than yourself touch you, but thank God for the fleshy , mushy arteries pumping the blood in and out. This way it is not quite easy to break you into a thousand pieces. You just go on. Fervently but quietly and intimately; amidst the social media and amidst the overpowering clatter of the outside 21 century. Amidst the shortage of oxygen or otherwise ; blood-ties related love scene.
How do I explain this to you?
How do I explain this weird choice of fate? How do I explain this sick lust of independence? How do I explain this self-begotten exile? How do I explain the misplacement of these eastern European features on this particular patch of the world map?
I do not think I know anymore, love.